Turkey Hangover

So Thanksgiving came and went. After fleeing our respective families for Asheville the past two years, money woes kept Matt and I in Atlanta this year. That meant attending TWO family gatherings and eating TWO awful meals of gunky mashed potatoes and turkey so dry it tasted like stringy shoe leather. Not being one to settle for crap like this, I decided to take things into my own hands.

The borderline cheapskate in me got up on Friday morning and went to Kroger because I knew that their fresh turkeys would be marked down for quick sale. I picked up a 15-pound beauty for about 12 bucks. Score!

I took the bird home and roasted him for three hours and he came out perfect. Now I have leftovers for a week. How's that for thriftiness?

Perfect Roasted Turkey

One 13-15 pound turkey
2 onions
2 carrots
2 celery ribs
1 lemon, halved
1/4 c. melted butter
2 sprigs each of thyme, sage, and rosemary
Salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Adjust oven racks to accommodate the large bird.

Cut the turkey out of the bag and remove neck and giblets (save these for gravy and stocks). Rinse the bird and pat dry with paper towels. Make sure you dry the turkey really well so you'll get a brown, crispy skin.

Chop carrots, onions, and celery into coarse chunks.

With a pastry brush, brush melted butter all over the breast side of the turkey. Wings, thighs, everything. Really coat that sucker! Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Now this is a large bird, so be heavy-handed with the seasonings. Stuff cavity with half the vegetables and all of the lemon and herbs.

Place the turkey breast-side down on a rack fitted into a roasting pan. It makes things cleaner if you wrap the rack beforehand in aluminum foil and poke several holes in it. This way the bird won't stick to the rack. Put the other half of the vegetables in the bottom of the roasting pan.

Brush melted butter on the backside of the bird and season with salt and pepper. Stick the turkey in the oven set at 425 for an hour.

After an hour, take the turkey out of the oven and turn the temperature down to 325 degrees. Flip the bird over so that the breast side of the turkey is facing up. Stick the bird back in the oven for another two hours. Baste about every half hour. I just got a big spoon out and drizzled the pan drippings over the turkey. I refuse to own one of those elongated, suction tube things.

Take the turkey out of the oven after two hours have passed. Poke the turkey in the deepest part of the thigh. If the juices run clear, you're set. Let turkey rest for 30-45 minutes, then dig in. If you have an immersion blender, you can blitz the vegetables in the roasting pan along with the drippings for a quick pan gravy.

Now this was the bird I wish I'd had on Thanksgiving!